\documentstyle[12pt]{article} \setlength{\oddsidemargin}{-.40in} \setlength{\evensidemargin}{-.40in} \setlength{\textwidth}{6.3in} \setlength{\topmargin}{-.50in} \setlength{\headsep}{0in} \setlength{\textheight}{9.7in} \setlength{\parindent}{0in} \setlength{\itemsep}{-.05in} \setlength{\topsep}{.05in} \pagestyle{empty} \begin{document} \LARGE \begin{center} {\Huge {\bf Biostat Division Blues}} \end{center} \begin{center} Words: L.\ Waller, D.\ Seehausen, and B.\ Carlin \mbox{Music: J.\ Croce (``Workin' at the Car Wash Blues'')} \end{center} \vspace{.2 in} \begin{tabbing} xxxx\=xxxx\=xxxx\=xxxx\= \kill {\bf V1:}\>Well I had just got out of a graduate program,\\ \>\>Doin' four years of mathematical stat,\\ \>Tried to find a tenure-track position,\\ \>\>But with my theoretical hat,\\ \\ \>I couldn't get an interview -- in all those departments\\ \>\>They had all the deadwood that they could use!\\ \>Now I got those steadily depressin', low-down,\\ \>\>mind-messin', Biostat Division Blues!\\ \end{tabbing} \vspace{.07 in} \begin{tabbing} xxxx\=xxxx\=xxxx\=xxxx\= \kill {\bf V2:}\>Well, now I'm sittin' around in a' air-conditioned\\ \>\>Mayo office in a swivel chair,\\ \>Gossiping with the administrative assistant,\\ \>\>Sayin', ``Hey now, Donna -- let's go have a beer!''\\ \\ \>`Cause with all my grants and committee assignments,\\ \>\>I'm really getting mighty confused!\\ \>That's why I got those steadily depressin', low-down,\\ \>\>mind-messin', Biostat Division Blues!\\ \end{tabbing} \newpage \begin{tabbing} xxxxxxxxx\=xxx\=xxxx\= \kill {\bf Bridge:}\>You know a man of my abilities,\\ \>\>I should-a have this School on a leash,\\ \>But 'til I get tenure here, it's APT that I fear,\\ \>\>So I just write another paper and teach!\\ \end{tabbing} \vspace{.07 in} \begin{tabbing} xxxx\=xxxx\=xxxx\=xxxx\= \kill {\bf V3:}\>Well all I can do is-a shake my head,\\ \>\>-- You might not believe the news --\\ \>But workin' at this end of the workstation network\\ \>\>Is an undiscovered Thomas Louis!\\ \\ \>And someday you're gonna see me\\ \>\>\>with a double martini,\\ \>\>Because with tenure, you got nothing to lose!\\ \>Till then I got those steadily depressin', low-down,\\ \>\>mind-messin', Biostat Division Blues!\\ \\ \>Yeah I got them steadily depressin', low-down,\\ \>\>mind-messin', Biostat Division Blues! \end{tabbing} \end{document}